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Super Size your Heart Attackackack.

Copied from my Facebook post:

My FB feed features a post about 4 things which happen before a heart attack. I know 2 of the 4, which is, you super size your bacon cheese melt and diet Coke, then sit on yo fat ass to watch the news. You think I’m making fun? If you research it, you will find heart disease was relatively rare before 1912 and before that, what killed people was fighting Indians. Isn’t Facebook fascinating?!

:What I mean to say is that yellow melted shit ain’t even cheese.

:And “diet” ain’t anything good for reducing body fat.  Proven actually to cause weight gain.  Proven.  Clinical studies.

:Oh, and the news? That ain’t even the news!

:In conclusion, the heart KNOWS what’s real, and a “heart attack” is merely one form of a reality check.  Whatever the four signs are, the number one thing to watch for, is living in any sort of reality sponsored by Dave, that super-nice misguided fellow who died from liver cancer, and his daughter, Wendy, who is still out there somewhere.

:Oh, and “ain’t” actually is a word.  S.

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